


Learning to swim

by incandescence



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment, 水球ヤンキース | Suikyuu Yankees
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama-verse, F/M, dialogue what dialogue, oops my fingers slipped, this drama gives me way too many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 03:18:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2253843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incandescence/pseuds/incandescence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rei needs to learn how to swim. Torao needs to learn how to let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning to swim

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alchemicink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemicink/gifts).



> I was writing my YYE, and then my fingers slipped and typed out 1k words of Rei/Torao feelings onto a new gDoc. Oops. No cookies for me. I blame Takaki for being so good at smouldering.
> 
> >.> But really, I just have this need to write all the Rei/Torao before the drama ends and ruins all my headcanons. :P
> 
> For alchemicink, because our conversations about Suikyuu are what kept me going this week. I hope you like this. ^_^

Rei worries about him. He worries about her. Given their history, Torao doesn’t think this will change for a while. Rei tries to hide it, but ever since that day she withdrew into her shell and shut out almost everyone around her. If Torao hadn’t not left her alone during every moment he could, he’s sure he would have lost her, too. He’s been accused of being a little too overbearing, a little too protective. It’s true, he is. It’s just that Torao remembers the long, long months after that match, and how Rei couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ smile, how she could barely get herself into the pool on most days even though usually they had trouble getting her _out_ , and he goes into a panic all over again. Back then, Rei would only talk to him, and even then that was only sometimes. Other times she’d listen in silence while he told her random stories about his dogs, the things his little sister did that morning that annoyed him yet made him laugh. Or they’d lie on the rooftop in silence, watching the clouds drift by with the same lack of energy they felt within their souls. There’s a small voice in the back of Torao’s mind that tells him Rei doesn’t feel anything for him at all, that she’s just with him because she can’t be alone, and it hurts. He’s not proud of it, but sometimes he can’t silence the voice, and jealousy overtakes all his senses. Late at night, however, when Torao really stops to think about it, he thinks he’ll be able to handle anything as long as Rei will be able to smile again.

Every time she looks at Nagisa, Rei is filled with guilt. So she tries not to look at her, but then she feels even worse. They used to be best friends. Then they slowly drifted apart, and one day Rei trudges into the indoor pool to see Nagisa wearing a different uniform and a different smile, and a girl she’s never seen before evidently there to take her place. Nagisa wasn’t the best water polo player, but she was good, and she had passion. Together, they were going to improve and make it to the top. Rei doesn’t know where it went wrong, because days blurred into weeks, weeks blurred into months, but she does know that it’s all her fault, and she doesn’t know how to fix it. So she avoids their team manager, can barely mutter a ‘thank you’ when Nagisa silently passes her a towel after practice, can’t meet her eyes when she waits by the door as the players file out. She tries, sometimes. Rei feels like her face is made of stone when she tries to smile, and when Nagisa furrows her brow in confusion, Rei knows she’s failed and she hates herself even more. The new girl, Riko, is funny and sweet and maybe even fiercer than the rest of the girls combined. Rei likes her the best, and is glad when the two become close. She hopes Riko will be a better friend to Nagisa that she used to be.

Torao knows that sometimes he can be too impatient, too brooding. He knows that other people are scared of him, and frankly, sometimes he’s even scared of himself. He’s not always upset; but he’s silent often, and many people only see the frown and think he’s angry. He doesn’t hate Ryuji, not really. He did at first, for hurting Rei, and for quitting without saying a word, but the hate faded pretty quickly. Mostly he’s just disappointed in him, because all it took was one shot, and he’s disappointed in himself for not seeing how all his pushing was causing him pain, for indulging his competitive nature so much. Torao loves water polo, and because of this sometimes he turns blind. It’s taken a while, but Torao thinks that being made captain has changed his way of thinking. Now, makes the effort to be a better team player, passing the ball to others whenever necessary, making them sit out when their swimming starts to get sloppy. He still has a burning desire to win. He’ll always have a burning desire to win. But now he understands the importance of his other teammates, he trusts them enough to know implicitly that together they can overcome anything. Even so, he’s still not content. He doesn’t know why he’s continuously restless, and a part of Torao hopes that he’ll finally figure this out when Suiran faces Kasu High.

Torao is a good person. She knows this. It’s just that when Torao thinks of Ryuji, all logic flies out the window and only confusion and disappointment remain. Occasionally this turns into helplessness, and subsequently rage. But Rei has seen this softer side of Torao many times, knows how gentle and caring he really is, and this is why she loves him. She saw it back in middle school when she ran to him crying, and he held her in his arms tightly until her tears dried up. She sees it all the time in the pool, when someone other than Torao scores a goal, when he watches the girls’ practice intently rather than joking around with the other boys to give them encouragement. He endures Nagisa’s pulling, scratching and kicking when she breaks down and can’t take it anymore, all to prevent her from getting hurt. Rei sees it when she turns to look at him and he’s already watching her, eyes gentle and kind before he leans down to kiss her. When he walks her home after school, and he asks her about her day, he listens without laughing when she complains that her muscles are sore and that Coach didn’t smile at her even once during practice. Rei doesn’t know what Torao is looking for, but she hopes that eventually, she’ll be able to help him find it.


End file.
